Pentecost - I entrust you!

Today is Pentecost, the end of the Easter season and the day the church was born as the Holy Spirit came down on the disciples and followers of Jesus like tongues of fire!  

Yesterday during a reflection time with the Epiphany Group I am part of www.epiphanygroup.org.uk

we discussed how this experience of lockdown has mirrored the season of Lent, Easter and now Pentecost.  The world, we mused, has been forced into a place of isolation, waiting and not knowing much like the disciples were as they travelled through the experiences of the Passover and Jesus’ death and the uncertain waiting time between his rising again and the coming power of the Holy Spirit.  And just as the disciples were sent out by God with the power from Heaven a number of us yesterday expressed a sense of God stirring in our own lives – an expectancy, a sense of being prepared and made ready to be sent out for something new and exciting.

We read together the words of the passage in John…

Again Jesus said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.” And with that he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.”  John 20 verse19-23

A number of us were struck and slightly perturbed by the last words here where Jesus says – If you forgive, sins are forgiven, if not, then they are not forgiven.  This of course does not make sense when put alongside the teaching of Jesus about the many times we should forgive someone who offends us in some way.  So what is Jesus really saying here?   

After a time of stillness and reflection what came to me was a sense of Jesus showing that he had confidence in the wisdom and judgement of his disciples.  Jesus is calling them onward and outward – “I am sending you…receive the Holy Spirit” Know my peace.  Receive my breath. I trust you. I am giving you authority.  You have listened to my preaching, watched me healing and praying and loving and struggling, dying and rising again. You have participated in all of this – you have earned your stripes and now I am giving the work over to you and I trust you to do the right thing.  I trust you to forgive.  You know my gospel, go out and share it; go out and live it.

I feel that God is saying the same thing to me – you have journeyed with me through many struggles and a time of waiting and wondering, not knowing but now - receive my peace, receive my breath, receive my power through the Holy Spirit – go on out and do what I have called you to do – have courage – I trust you.  I feel the excitement and joy of knowing that God trusts me and delights in what he has prepared in me.  Yes, I believe God is saying this to me.  Might God also be saying the same to you?

Julian of Norwich

Following on from last week I was thinking about that verse in the bible which Jesus speaks,

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

I am a big fan of Lady Julian of Norwich, a 14th century mystic who was the first women author in the English language. During a grave illness (Norwich, at that time a city of around 25,000 was in the grip of the Black Death) she received amazingly detailed revelations or “showings” from God, which she then devoted the rest of her life to writing down. She shared their wisdom with all who visited her tiny cell attached to St Julian’s Church in Norwich – the church gave this anonymous lady her name.

What I wanted to say was that throughout her showings a beautiful picture of Jesus Christ emerges which echoes the verse above – gentleness, humble hearted and a place of rest for our souls. God is never in a hurry to make changes in our lives or fix us as we so often try to do with ourselves or others. God is infinitely gracious and patient with us and tends us with loving care. God takes us from where we are to the place where we were made to be, step by step, moment by moment with our total co-operation.

When I was a child, I thought childish things about faith – that God was someone who wanted me to be better, do better, always improve and stop doing the bad things, a bit of a killjoy to be frank and was not satisfied with me as I was. But now I am a women I have learnt that in fact, unlike the world, God loves me just as I am. Nothing I do will make God love me more. Nothing I fail to do will make God love me less. Where I am right now is where God is content to be with me – loitering – as the poet Ross Gay says. (There is some profanity at the beginning of this prose reading.)

https://soundcloud.com/onbeing/loitering-by-ross-gay

God is not pushing me forward or pulling me back but with the greatest wisdom and grace – showing me the Way and walking beside me at the pace at which I am willing to go. Please let that sink deeply into you being and slow down if you need to – spend your time at rest with the Creator who knows you intimately and would like nothing more than for you to sit and loiter and be in His presence.

If you would like to know more about the simple yet deep wisdom which Lady Julian shared, Richard Rohr at The Centre for Action and Contemplation, has recently had a week of posts on this wonderful lady…
https://cac.org/a-mystic-for-our-times-2020-05-10/?utm_source=cm&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=dm&utm_content=summary

Sycamore Seedling

About a year ago I noticed a small sycamore seedling growing in an empty pot of compost in my garden.  I have no idea how it got there but it looked so neat and healthy I left it.  Through the winter of course the two or three leaves disappeared and all that was left was a small thin stem which on more than one occasion I was tempted to throw into the bin.  It really did look pathetic.  But I didn’t and now this year it is flourishing again with a slightly stronger stem and a few more leaves.  I am growing my very own sycamore tree! 

When I was out running today I passed a full grown sycamore tree – not too big but a good sized trunk and a beautifully rounded umbrella of greeny, yellow, fresh leaves.  And it got me thinking.  That the wee spindly stem on my sycamore seedling was in fact a big strong trunk in the making!  I had never thought of it before – but then I have never grown a tree from scratch before.  Everything in nature starts small and gets bigger.  I recognise that every year the stem of the plant carries the growth of leaves that it can manage and that through season after season of birth, growth, death and rebirth it grows bigger and stronger step by step by step.  My little seedling is not ready to carry big branches of spreading leaves and it’s own seeds but one day it will be. 

Our lives too are a serious of joys and sufferings which (if we let them) will strengthen us and sustain us for more emotional and spiritual growth and onward to life in all it’s fullness.  Our faith begins small but one day will be like the mustard seed which, “though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches.” (Matthew 13:32)

Just like my little seedling you and I may not be able yet to express our faith in big or profound ways or achieve some great project but one day, just by living life and experiencing all that it has to offer – joys and struggles, we can be that strong tree which others seek refuge in.   I believe that God with infinite Creator wisdom and grace only puts into our hands that which we can carry. So just like I will be tending my little sycamore seedling, allow God’s tender loving care to watch over you and please do let go of anything which just now is too hard or heavy for you to carry. Give it to someone stronger to carry. Give it to God.

Welcome

Welcome to my blog.  This is a new experience for me so let's see how it goes.  I am a progressive, contemplative Christian and I intend to write - scribble - some of the thoughts and insights I have from my life, storytelling, spiritual growth and exploration of Christian and Spiritual themes.  I hope also to share links to my favourite authors and teachers in the hope that you learn something of what excites me about my life of faith.